I love being an uncle, mostly because I get to have all the fun without ANY of the responsibility. Plus I get to say things to my 18 month old niece that are slightly inappropriate for her age. For example, every time she cries because she gets frustrated by something, I casually say, “Growing up is tough kid.” Of course that’s true, growing up is hard, but does she understand that? Not a lick of it. But I do. Being the only boy and the youngest of three left me with scars. Having my sisters as siblings, one could only expect that. For better or worse, I owe them a lot because without them I wouldn’t be the man I am today without them. It was a rocky road growing up with those two hooligans but I made it out alive and to their credit inspired this, Rocky Road Banana Bread Recipe. But before we get to the recipe let me explain just what kind of emotional scars they gave me,
- There was the time my oldest sister shoved me into the bush that my Dad threw all the dog poop into. I was covered. I was 5 years old. It was gross. Obviously, this situation should have never happened for a few reasons. First, WHY DIDN’T MY DAD PROPERLY DISPOSE OF THE DOG POOP? This whole scarring memory could have been avoided if he just threw the shit out. (Way to protect me Dad) Second, What did a sweet, innocent, and well behaved 5 year old boy do to deserve such deplorable treatment? Good question because I honestly don’t know. I’m serious, I don’t. My sister has readily admitted that she hated me till I was 16. So, I’m pleading innocence, I would never do anything so terrible to be pushed into a poop bush. Third, which isn’t really related but I still want to know, What happened to the clothes I was wearing? and who had to clean me off? If it wasn’t you, Megan, then our parents were FAR too easy on you.
- Then the time when they tricked me into eating cottage cheese by telling me it was ice cream. Thanks to you I still hate that runny snot like substance. You scarred me for life and denied me a life time of cottage cheese eating pleasure.
- For destroying my already fragile chubby 9 year old self esteem when in the heat of an argument they told me to go ROLL away. It was nice to know that you thought I was fat enough that I couldn’t even run (I had asthma, OK!?) AND you wanted me out of your lives. Great insult, you two, really… good job.
It wasn’t all bad though, because there were times when they got their act together and taught me some really important life lessons. Like, it’s ok to end friendships that are toxic even if it’ll cost you social standing. They knew from their own painful experiences that sometimes the best thing you can do is to say goodbye to a relationship that meant something to you. Then there was the time they, after years of trying, finally convinced me that wrestling wasn’t cool and just stupid. You were right, although every once in a while I still smell what the Rock is Cooking! OH! and I will still open a can of whoopass on your candy ass, Jabroni. But more importantly, they taught me that the best after school snack comes in the form of melting marshmallows, peanut butter, and chocolates chips together and eating it with a spoon. It’s a ‘snack’ I’ve consistently gone back to, especially on those really hard days. Wait… now that I think of it, my chubbiness was their fault! Who feeds kids melted sugar chocolate fat anyway?!?!? What the hell Megan and Jessica? WHAT. THE. HELL?
In all seriousness though, my sisters played a huge role in my life. They are some of the best people I know and without them, I wouldn’t be the same man I am today. I had like 3 mom’s looking out for me, it was the best.
Anyway, I love you sisters, now go make this recipe and enjoy some baked sugar chocolate fat bread, errr I mean Rocky Road Banana Bread, OK?
Rocky Road Banana Bread
3 Ripe Banana’s, Mashed
3/4 Cups Sugar
1/2 Cup Coconut Oil
1/4 Cup Milk
1 1/2 Cups All Purpose Flour
1 Teaspoon Baking Soda
1 Teaspoon Baking Powder
1/2 Teaspoon Salt
1 Cup Mini Marshmallows
1/3 Cup Chocolate Chips
1/3 Cup Chopped Walnuts
5 TablespoonsCocoa Powder
reheat oven to 350ºF. Grease bread pan and set aside. In a medium sized mixing bowl mix together alldry ingredients except for the sugar (Flour, Baking Soda/Powder, Cocoa Powder and Salt). In a separate mixing bowl mash up the ripe banana’s with a fork and mix in sugar, coconut oil, and milk. Mix together until well combined. Pour the wet ingredients on top of the dry ingredients and begin to fold together with a spatula. Just before all the dry ingredients are wet add in chocolate chips, chopped walnuts, and marshmallows, leaving some behind to put on top of the bread. Continue to fold the batter together being careful not to over mix. Once mixed pour batter into the greased bread pan and place in the oven. Bake for 45 minutes or until the bread is cooked through.